Been pondering and evaluating my departure from Word of Faith, NAR and the Charismatic branch in general. I guess I find myself fully settled in I really don’t care what anyone else thinks anymore land.
I used to have a long and detailed response when people inquired as to why I was not “in ministry” or why I went to the church I attend now. Now I have it somewhat condensed. “I have no patience for WOF, NAR or Charismatic churches of any kind, anymore. I do not miss it."
The best thing I ever did was throw away the “prophetic words” I had gotten, taped, written down, confessed and mainly stressed over for years. I feel way more special just meditating on how I’m saved from wrath, instead of trying to make sure I was doing some special thing.
I do not miss “believing” for someone to be healed and seeing no better results in the “on fire” church than the dead churches we made fun of. I committed the “sin” of paying attention and coming to terms with how the cancer patient at the WOF church died, and the one at the dead church lived. I even got a pastor to admit that they were getting no better results with all their anointings than the church who had plain ol’ elders pray for the sick.
I do not miss hearing how the revival they’d been expecting for 60 years was “just about to happen” ...that is once we learned the force of faith, prayed in tongues non-stop, pulled down strongholds, bound up strongmen, broke through to a breakthrough, got in on some every other year jubilee of some sort and sowed up into the pockets of some hot rod money magnet preacher so we’d finally have all the funds God needed to do something big and enough left over for all the stuff we wanted...or vice versa... it really didn’t matter. The drive to continue to get more and more was the motivation of the prosperity message. Enough was never enough.
Oh sure, I violated all the armor bearer and hyped up loyalty rules these pinheads came up with.
I will gladly be judged for not staying in the ranks of liars, the covetous, the narcissistic, the immoral, and the mental patients posing as pastors, prophets, apostles, or any other title they dreamt up.
I guess being in a “regular” church with leaders who actually have to be accountable to people who will actually hold them accountable is less “spiritual” than being under the big man who hears from God directly for everyone. Seemed like the movements I was in were rife with the most “anointed” people being the poster children for the works of the flesh.
I suppose I became even further resolved to not care what people think when I found out that some people that I stood up for in a very concrete way actually have gone back to a place we both agreed was a good place to leave.
I can’t say I didn’t believe it when I heard about it. They didn’t really run very far from the nonsense. Actually, they just switched kool-aid flavors for a short while. And I’m not angry. I didn’t ask them to follow me anywhere.
It’s not the first time after pouring out my guts and pages of facts that a person has looked right through me to the next weird thing they wanted to do.
It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything about this. I guess I don’t think about it as much anymore. I gave the whole mess more than a fair trial. I gave my life, time, talents, money and soul to it.
I’m not a person “ that got offended”
I’m a person who saw that all I had to do was ignore the lies, play the game and keep my mouth shut and I could “ prosper” in those settings.
I’m also a person who would not give up a real Jesus for some other Jesus who would put up with that kind of abuse.
It took me a while to stop grieving over what I lost and to start being thankful for what I gained.
I am thankful to be where I am and not where I was.